bouncingsouls04's Journal

When I was a child, my mom and dad always told me I could say anything I wanted but when I wrote something down is when it was serious.

For you, I would try to take it all back.

I can sum up my life lately in one word:

work.

Thesis squared, reading, work, sleep. Thats all I ever do. I'm exhausted.

I'll see you when the earth thaws and my german thesis and english thesis class are done.

Matt, Matt, and Faith just left after the girls dominated the boys in pop culture trivia. Sweet. Now its back to thesis work. Jess and I have been hanging out alot lately, mostly doing work parties, which is fantastic because I missed being around girls. I haven't seen Kelly in what feels like forever, and if I could get a lot of my thesis done, I would be able to see her SOON. I hope I hope. Life is good. Frankie is amazing. School is.. School. Soon it will be over and I'll be -hopefully- in Chicago. I need to get away from my parents, my siblings, my old life.

busy..
Today my sister in law had her baby, a beautiful boy named Christopher. 8.6 lbs, but he seemed really small to me. I was afraid to hold him, because sometimes I think babies can break. He had to be delivered by C section, and he was sort of bruised up because of it. My brother said he looked like a prize fighter, and I agree. It will be weird to have a baby boy around. School started today, and I worked a full day as well. I will be out of the house from early in the AM to 4:30 every day this term. The weekends will be packed with work I'm sure, but I will look forward to some time out with friends. I think this weekend will be HAPPY FEET with faith and the guys. :) I might take my neices along too. I already have homework assigned for my class that hasnt EVEN MET yet! I'm not complaining; thats pure surprise in my tone. It is a Heinegg class, a 400 level so it will keep me on my toes. I always think I have it easy with only 2 real classes this term (plus my thesis, but it won't be due all at once), then I realize that I'm taking ridiculously hard classes. Sigh.. Union. Next week after work, I think I am going to cook dinner each night for my brother and sister in law so that she doesn't have to. Don't plan on seeing me anytime soon folks..

Again, I'm not complaining. In fact, I secretly love the solitude of being so busy.

Well I've been sick since my birthday and its terrible. I'm sorry to everyone I've had to cancel plans with, so mostly everyone I know. I'm just trying to feel better as quickly as I can, because if I'm still sick I won't be able to be around my sister in law on Christmas. Her baby is due on the 30th, and I'm really excited for neice or nephew part 3. I have cookies to bake and presents to wrap, but honestly, I'm close to done. My mother is having me clean the house and cook christmas dinner, but thats always okay with me, so long as I feel better. I didn't ask for anything for christmas, I don't really want much except for a Wii. The thing is though, if I had one I would never get any work done, and school is only twenty more weeks. Maybe I'll get one as a graduation present. Speaking of graduation, its making me reeeeeaalllyy nervous. I'm thinking that as soon as nate finds out where he is going to school, I'll try to find a job at a publishing or translation company for the time being until I can figure out what I really want to do. Part of me still wants to spend my time writing, because in my mind it is glamourous or something. Opening my own cafe would be an option too but I think I would prefer to go to culinary school first. We will see... for now, it is advil and decongestants.

horray
So I turned 21 on Thursday. I'm not going to say anything about my life changing or who I am because that would be trite. I got very sick and had to cancel my plans, which was really sad. I would hope we can all get together and do it at some other point, because it would have been spectacular. I miss school, just because I miss all my awesome friends. This kitten has become the joy of nate and my life. :)

woah
Last day of classes today...

Its been a really hard term because my focus has been entirely.. elsewhere. I realized a lot of stuff this term, I made some awesome friends, and I renewed some of my old friendships that I sorta.. forgot were there. I've also learned quite recently that many of the people I used to be friends with are immature, and I think I've moved past them. I feel so much more confident that I actually am ready to graduate, which is validated everytime I sit in one of my classes and someone makes a stupid comment. I'm really looking forward to this break coming up, it will be a much needed relaxing period. I only have one final, one paper rewrite, and half of a paper to finish before I can RELAX. Oh yeah, tomorrow is Frankie's first vet appointment to get her shots, then she can be spayed soon. Thank God, because her heat period was really annoying. Drivers test on Friday.. wish me luck. I think I'll need it.

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Carly Simon

i forgot that hangovers could be like this.
bethany and i had a great time, i made a meal of chicken, risotto, and roasted veggies. I made an adorable cake too with yellow buttercream and marzipan leaves and a big marzipan pumpkin... so cute. then we started drinking....

one thing led to another and we had two drinks down at the dyck..

then came back here and tried to make nate's bed which took, literally.. forever.

then we passed out.

good night. :)

ahh things are looking up.

it's nice because my body has been without alcohol, nicotine, pot, or caffeine for over a week now... it feels good suprisingly.

i've been bullshitting a lot lately but i think tonight i will get some work done for once. bethany is coming over for dinner, and tomorrow i am going out to lunch with sarah. in a few weeks i am heading out to CT with nate and most likely staying with kelly i feel bad and wish i could see ang and soley too.

before bethany comes, my plan is to clean the whole apartment and play with frankie, i think she's feeling a little neglected.

tomorrow night i get to work for 5 hours, sitting at a desk and doing homework while getting paid, sounds good to me. then nate and i will probably see a movie because thats what married couples like us do. :)

i really love living with him, and having friends over all the time, and not having to struggle to live with someone. :)

mundane entry, but its good to be mundane sometimes

Current Mood: complacent
Current Music: the cat squeaking

guess who's having the worst week ever...
I don't even know what's GOING ON ANYMORE!! I feel so out of the circle of all information. I'm so tired, I sleep all the time.

I guess the week started bad because Nate wasn't home in the beginning, I was left all alone and I hate that. But then things got slightly better, he came home, I got an A- on that paper for German.

Things got worse again. Friday night I went to my great uncle's birthday, which was fine. Then I went to the Dyck to see Nate and ended up bar backing for 2 hours. It was okay, I made almost 30 bucks in tips, but I was so tired after. I fell asleep and missed hanging out with Nate and Jason, sad.

Saturday night I had planned to go to the German Terms Abroad Reunion at school for homecoming weekend. Professor Smith kept telling Rob and I that we better be there.. we went, spoke to her about 10 minutes and then got stuck sitting by ourselves at the dinner. It wasn't until 20 minutes later that the people in alumni relations felt bad for us and filled up our table.

I then went to the Dyck, saw Nate for 5 minutes. I came home, went to bed alone.

Not even the cat wanted anything to do with me.

I don't feel like being witty, coy, whiny or intelligent. I'll just say that I have a 5-7 page german paper coming up that will most likely send me to a panic attack, but I just finished a rewrite for an English paper that I got a B+ on, so hopefully it will get to an A before the term ends. My ipod is on shuffle, and I have miles to go before I sleep...

i've been playing ssx3 like a mad woman. it makes me really want to start snowboarding again. whos with me?

anyway, i'll ask henry soon if he can give me lessons to bring up to snuff. not that i will be able to superpipe or any of that stuff, i'm way too lame for that.

ugh.
I'm pretty much in a life hating mood right now. Its been a long, tiring day. I had a great night last night at Smitty, Matt, Justin and Jay's.. then everyone came over and we did the usual. I met some new cool people. I got about 4 hours of sleep last night and somehow i'm still awake after doing some pretty tiring things today. It seems that it never ends, the daily monotony. Remember when life used to be fun?

I haven't felt this way I feel
Since many a year ago
But in those years and the lifetimes past
I did not deal with the road
Every hour of fear I spend
My body tries to cry
Living through each empty night
A deadly call inside
So I try to say
Goodbye my friend
I'd like to leave you with something warm
But never have I been a blue calm sea
I have always been a storm
I have always been a storm

i think i'm starting to get back into the swing of things. this weekend went by so quickly, and was so strange. it was one of those weekends where you realize your parents arent just parents but people too. thats a difficult thing to deal with sometimes.

Current Mood: weird
Current Music: bob dylan

oh my thyroid.
Today I went to the Dr. for my stupid UTIs which reoccur every few months. While there she asks me "has anyone ever told you that you have a very large thyroid?" I can't say that they have. So she orders bloodwork to be done and in two weeks i have to go to have an ultrasound. I've been reading about hypothyroidism and it seems that I have most of the symptoms. Good news: its cureable. Bad new: with surgery.

Needless to say I'm a little bummed out, but I won't worry until I have the ultrasound and know exactly whats up.

things are better with nate and i, but still not so right with me. i'm so bored lately i don't know what to do with myself. classes are boring, work is boring, i just wish i had something to really look forward to. sometimes i get so bored that i just want to go to sleep at like 6pm. i don't know what that means.

german class this term is hard, being a full year removed from the language. i'll have to work extra hard to catch up. both english classes will be easy, but boring. next term i can take a class on kafka and another interesting english class, which i'm looking forward to. soon i will start my second job at the good old dyck and i wont have any time to do anything. i'm secretly looking forward to being ridiculously busy, even though i complain about it all the time. i will be baking for the dyck this year, any suggestions?

well, back to bullshitting the rest of the night away

Current Mood: bored

wow.
Nate is REALLY ticking me off. Tonight he tries to tell me that he made a commitment to go see a friend of his who just broke up with his GF. This is after he already made 2 commitments with me. I know that he told this friend last week to come here because it was our first weekend back at school and that he couldn't go to CT. Now he is telling me that he made the commitment to go to CT first. BULLSHIT. He lies all the time because he isn't man enough to tell me the truth and lying only lands him in more trouble. I don't understand why people can't just tell the fucking TRUTH sometimes. Any other weekend when he didn't already have plans to do things with other people and leave me stranded here alone, maybe it would be okay, but not this weekend. NOT AT ALL. He just doesn't get it either. Breaking up with a girlfriend when you knew it was coming is NOT a dire emergency. I have no sympathy.

Current Mood: pissed off
Current Music: backround bullshit.

New Journal?
I decided to stop writing in my xanga site, because well, its pretty old. Besides, I have basically begun a new life this past summer and I might as well ditch as much of the old as I can. School started today and it was strange. I mean, I felt like I was in a daze the whole day, with no real direction to head. Having to speak German felt completely surreal. People keep asking about grad school and taking a year off etc. etc. and I am completely torn. Part of me wishes I was still a freshman so I didn't have to make such decisions. The other part of me wishes that my decision process was over, that I could fast forward through senior year and be done with it already.

In other news, I have some great friends that hopefully I will get to spend tons of time with this year.

Current Mood: stressed

THIS is where its at!

http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=BouncingSouls

Current Mood: bouncy

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